“What time is it?” I wonder as I roll over in bed. OOF! I find myself upside down looking into Kermit’s left foot. Ick. ‘What is that light? Oh shoot, it’s my phone.’ I stomp over the other stuffies to try to reach the bedside table and I accidentally step on Snuffles’ Brooks Brothers flyer. ‘Crunch!’ The flyer crinkles under my skate. I try to grab it to fix the creases but I pull too hard and tear it in half. ‘Oh shoot!’ I yell in frustration. Now Snuffles is awake. ‘What’s going on?’ he moans, and then he sees the light. ‘Really George? Turn off your phone!’ He rolled back over and pulled the blanket over his head. ‘I’m going back into hibernation, don’t talk to me until morning.’ I was relieved that Snuffles didn’t notice the flyer, which was now almost shredded due to my attempts to fix it.

I noticed the clock on the bedside table: 2:00AM! What? Who is calling me at this ridiculous hour? We are not meant to be awake in the middle of the night. Stuffies lose their stuffing if they don’t get enough sleep, it’s bad. Really bad. And you can’t just re-stuff us. There are no stuffing transfusions. If we lose our stuffing, we lose our personalities and become flat, lifeless nothings.

I step on the boy’s head, sound asleep below his pillow. I’m not sure why he bothers with a pillow; he never actually sleeps on it. He snorted when I stepped on his head, probably because my skate went up his nose, but he didn’t wake up. As I step onto the far side of the pillow, my foot slips and I flip over onto my back with my head dangling off the side of the bed. As I start to swing myself back and forth to get my feet under my butt, I lose my balance and start to fall off the bed. My head goes first, and I see my short life flash before my eyes. All the hockey games. All the pudding. I hit the floor with a big thud, face first. Oof. But I am alive!

I quickly realize where I am and what I’m doing and pull the comic books off the bedside table. I start to climb up the books but they are slipping under my feet. Hopping onto the middle shelf, I use a drumstick to fix the pile of books and get back on. As I climb onto the top shelf, I can see the phone in my sights. Almost there! I reach up and accidentally grab the boy’s iPod. Oh shoot! I drop it to the floor without thinking. Oh shoot again! Enough silliness, it’s time to get the phone. I pull myself up using the headphone cord and finally get up to the top shelf with the phone. Stumbling over notebooks, pens, a calculator and a penguin figurine, I reach the phone. Turning it on, it shines a light over the entire room. I try to shield it from everyone else but it’s too late. They are all starting to fidget in their sleep. I enter my passcode and see what turned it on in the first place. Someone is going down tomorrow.

Smurfy

Written in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge

Advertisements