Today’s #Writing101 challenge is to free write for 20 minutes and then publish. George loved this assignment because he hates editing and proofreading.
It’s hard to be a stuffy. I mean, life can be great sometimes like when you’re cuddled up with your favourite human watching Captain America: Winter Soldier. But there can be tough times too, like when you’re left alone on your face for ten hours while the humans go out. You know if there is a flood then you’re done. Or a fire. I hate the thought of fire. Boom! I wish I could turn on the TV by myself, that would be awesome. Well, maybe I can turn it on by myself and you just don’t know it! Maybe I can do everything by myself but I choose to allow you to do everything for me. Ha! Joke’s on you people!
What I really want to do is play professional hockey. I’m only eight inches tall but I think I could make it. It’s all about determination. I will need new skates, and a skating coach, and a hockey stick, and a helmet that is not made of fabric and stuffing. After that I’ll be set and you’ll be in trouble. Boom! I will be able to skate circles around everyone on the ice and they won’t even notice me because I’m going to wear all white and blend in with the ice. I saw a stuffed owl the other day at the store that was all white and I thought that would be perfect. I could skin a few of those owls and use their fur for my uniform and on top of my helmet. My only problem now is how to actually move the puck. My stick will only be about 5 inches tall which gives me very little leverage against the puck. I wonder if I could just use my hands? Oh shoot, that’s not allowed. I know I can’t kick it in either. I’ll have to engineer a spring mechanism onto my stick to propel the puck forward. I’m sure that’s allowed.
Now the only decision left to be made is which team to play for. I’ll have to call the cities and find out what their pudding is like and then I can decide. If they specialize in tapioca or rice pudding then I am out! No way! Boom! If they have vanilla or chocolate then they will go on my short list. I know every team will want me so it will be up to me to decide where to play. My favourite dessert is chocolate cake pudding but I can only get that at my current home so I may just have to stay here. But I can’t play professional hockey here! I’m in a conundrum trying to figure out what to do. All this just from sitting in my chair here and watching some Netflix. I would like to be famous on TV, that’s why I want to be a hockey player. But maybe I could get famous another way. I could become a world-renowned pudding taster. I’m sure that’s a real job. I could also be a pudding maker but that takes too much work. You have to go shopping to buy the stuff and then cook it up and clean up your mess. It’s the mess that’s really the problem, especially cleaning it up after you’ve eaten everything and you’re full and rolling around on the floor.
I need a new idea. Something that will make me rich and famous but that doesn’t involve anything but sitting around. I do like to watch TV and movies and write poetry. I really like to write poetry about donuts and pudding. Those are fun to write about. Oh, I know! I could write for a living! Boom! That doesn’t involve any work, right? You just sit around and type for 25 minutes and then you’re famous. Then you can sleep for a week until you have to write for another 25 minutes. Done.