Cap and Optimus spent the weekend counting up all the money they had made this year. They knew more would come in because everyone would buy their movies as Christmas presents so they knew not to worry about running out of cash. There was nothing in the house that anyone wanted to sell them so they drove out of the city until they happened across a small town. This town had railway tracks that ran through it from East to West (and West to East, Cap pointed out) which would make it easy for deliveries. It also had a candy store, an antique shop, a Chinese food restaurant, and an ice cream shop that made milkshakes with whipped cream and sprinkles on the top. The milkshakes were too big to fit in the glass so you got the leftovers in the big metal cup that they’re made in. Vanilla milkshakes with chocolate sprinkles were Optimus’s favourite treat of all so he asked the owner if he could buy the place and have milkshakes made for him for free every day. Sadly, the owner said no, the store was his life and he would rather die than sell it. Optimus knew he could call up Megatron and have that happen but decided against it. Cap had made himself comfortable in the candy shop eating up all of the blue gummy whales and red licorice in an effort to turn his tongue red and blue. He was disappointed in the lack of white candy so he settled for some marshmallows. Cap asked the owner if she would sell the shop to him but she also said no, the store was her life, blah, blah, blah.
When the pair met for lunch at the Chinese restaurant, they ate sweet and sour chicken balls and discussed all the cool things they had seen so far and decided to use their money to buy the whole town. Cap and Optimus went to the bank and bought the railroad and all of the streets and before long they owned all of the buildings and everything in between. They let everyone keep their stores and restaurants though because they didn’t want anyone to have to die. And that is the story of how Cap and Optimus spent their billions on a small town just so they could have milkshakes, chicken balls, and candy whenever they wanted.