The Muppets show came on
The television tonight
Kermit refused to watch anything else
He put up quite a fight

He just sat there and listened
To Miss Piggy grunt and groan
And then he saw that Fozzy
Call Miss Piggy on the phone

Kermit watched his ex
On his new laptop mac
She kicked off Elizabeth Banks
Then Kermit brought her back

When Kermit gets stressed out
He screws up his puppet face
Banks throws Scooter out
While he tours her through the place

Animal played the drums
With the Imagine Dragons band
And Elizabeth Banks made fun
Of how Scooter got orange-tanned

Kermit loved the show
Of course, he is the star
He hopes to get some money
To buy a nice new car

So Kermit is reminding you
To tune in to him right now
And if you don’t he’ll find you
And make you a singing cow