“Why do they always use robots when there’s a bomb?” Optimus asked during an episode of NCIS. “That’s robot cruelty.” Optimus put a handful of Mike and Ike’s into his mouth.

“Really, Optimus? Robot cruelty? Robots don’t have brains,” George replied.

“It’s true,” Cap confirmed, “that’s why the Transformers will never beat The Avengers!”

As soon as he heard “Avengers,” Hulky stood up on the end of the couch and raised his Lego sword. “To infinity and beyond!” he yelled.

Optimus went upstairs and painted a sign. “If they’re not going to help me, then I’m going to have to do this alone,” he said to himself. “END ROBOT BOMBS!” he wrote in red paint. “Bye!” he slammed the door and went outside. “Now where should I go?” he wondered, sign in hand. “I know, I’ll go downtown.”

Optimus started walking down the street. He saw cars and trucks and buses and heard a “ding ding” from behind. “Get out of the way!” a cyclist yelled as he went by. Optimus felt lost in a sea of machines. “What have I become?” he wondered, “I am a machine.”

Optimus hopped on the subway and rode the train downtown. He got off at the first stop. People bumped him from every direction until he found a place to sit in the plaza. He held up his sign and people started tossing coins at him. “What’s happening?” he wondered. He looked around at all the people and the cars, buses, and trains and his head started to hurt. There was noise coming from everywhere: car horns, train horns, bells, sirens, and people talking; it was too much!

Optimus ripped up his sign and hopped on the first train home. Unfortunately he hopped on the wrong train and had to call Snuffles to pick him up. But he was sure glad to get home to his favourite chair and a bowl of candy. Next time he watched TV, he figured robots needed to do their share of work so the world wouldn’t be any more noisy than it already is.